Aberdeen Wanderers: 0 v Dunfermline Wolves: 100

When it was mentioned a few weeks ago that in order to supplement the Wolves busy league programme there would also be a number of friendlies, thoughts turned to those of the "glamour" variety that Premiership football teams arrange for their pre-season. Maybe Murray had arranged that trip toBermuda? No, even better (for Murray), a trip to Aberdeen Wanderers (AW from now on); well at least we had an interpreter (is it not the prerequisite that an interpreter can speak 2 languages?). Based on how some of the boys were dressed, Duncan had managed to make a connection to the preferred choice of Bermuda (however it was unfair of Duncan to send a different e-mail to Scottie reminding him to dress like it was a school day).

So Aberdeen, the Granite City, oil capital ofEurope. Aberdeen, where men are men & sheep are, ahem, worried..... One bright spot however was it wasn't Perthshire or Stirling.

In preparation for the trip I consulted my sat nav which informed me it would take 2hrs 36mins to travel the 112 miles; I’m not sure if they factor in being ambushed by the natives in Dundee? 1hr 40mins after leaving the house I arrived; I’m just relieved there’s no speed cameras on the road north.

I tried to time my arrival for kick-off however as per the usual Wolves agenda, things were running a bit behind. I managed to catch the shortened Wolves warm-up, the most interesting part was watching Duncan wielding what can only be described as a cattle prod - any slackers were immediately singled out, Duncan took aim but fortunately (or unfortunately), it appeared he'd forgotten to charge it. I wonder if there was any connection between the shortened warm-up and the result?

On arrival, I was informed by fellow parents that Curtis had been complaining of cold feet having had to wear flip flops on the journey north (note to Curtis – wear socks with them next time, it’s the height of fashion you know). I never heard the complaint, in trueDuncan stylie if had heard the complaint I would of course have told him to “man up”. This comment was met with the suggestion I should go on some form of parenting course. For fear that a call may have been made immediately to the Social, I decided not to share at this moment that on the days that Wolves lose, Curtis doesn’t get fed.

Within the AW “clubhouse”, you could help yourself to tea & coffee and were asked, as payment, to put some money into an honesty box. Ken was slightly confused by this notion and on taking advice from Murray to “do as the locals do”, promptly dropped 3 brass coins into said box.

Wolves travelled with only 16 players which Ken was relieved about as he wasn't sure how he was going to explain to Fife Council why he'd driven one of their mini buses all the way to Aberdeen with half a dozen boys on the roof.

FRONT ROW: Connor Crawford, Scott Buchan, Adam Nicol
LOCKS: Ewen Slane, James Shields
FLANKERS: Sean Taylor, Gregor Beatson
No.8: Curtis Matthews

HALF-BACKS: Connor Smillie, Daniel Wilson
CENTRES: Faraz Nadeem, Adam Cumming
WINGERS: Harvey Gardiner, Connor Bannister
FULL BACK: Cormac Wcislo[/size]

As you will see, the narrative below has been limited to the scores & substitutions only; otherwise this may have formed the lengthiest match report in history. Also there isn't a huge amount of detail around each try as shorthand is not something I'm familiar with.

2 mins
Wolves lined up with a number of positional switches; while I was still figuring out who was playing where the visitors scored with the first attack of the match. From the kick off, Wolves knocked on however the resultant scrum on the AW 10 was won against the head and the ball moved quickly into the backs. The defence hesitated but Faraz didn't and promptly split the opposing centres to touch down.

AW 0 Wolves 5

5 mins
Curtis broke through the defence on the AW 10, found Faraz in support who in turn passed inside to Gregor, From around 5 metres out, Gregor did well to retain possession and stay on his feet until a number of teammates arrived; this support carried Gregor over the line and when the bodies cleared, the score was awarded.

AW 0 Wolves 10

7 mins
Straight from the restart, the kick did not make the required 10 metres. From the scrum, Curtis executed the No 8 pick -up and found Cormac on his shoulder. Cormac then released Connor B down the wing who did well to beat 2 to score his first try of the day.

AW 0 Wolves 17

11 mins
The game was being played firmly in the AW's half and it was only a matter of time before another try was scored. The forwards advanced the ball down the left until it reached the AW 22, no need to spin the ball to the backs on this occasion as Adam N's strength was enough.

AW 0 Wolves 24

13 mins
Ross replaced Connor S

22 mins
From a solid scrum 10 metres from the AW line, the ball was released quickly to the backs & similar to the first try, Faraz went through virtually untouched to score under the posts.

AW 0 Wolves 31

25 mins
The Wolves scrum was dominant and won a third against the head in quick succession. Curtis picked up on the AW 22, the ball passed through the hands of the backs until it found Cormac who had joined the line and went in from 5 metres out.

AW 0 Wolves 36

26 mins
Connor S replaced Ross

30 mins
From a scrum on half-way line, the ball was quickly advanced downfield by the backs. Adam C brilliantly straightened his run which gave the Wolves a man advantage; he released Cormac who in turn slipped the ball to Connor B. There was still work to be done but Connor kept his legs pumping which was enough for him to score for the 2nd time.

AW 0 Wolves 43

33 mins
So more than half an hour gone and 7 tries scored, surprisingly none of which were scored by Andrew McK (granted that would have been difficult as he was 112 miles away) or Harvey. However this was about to change. From a tap penalty on half way the ball was quickly moved to Harvey on the left wing and in true Harvey style, he beat his man on the outside and raced away to score.

It was at this point that even our resident mathematician Ken was struggling with the size of this number. “It’s all done on calculators now”, lamented Ken wishing he’d brought his abacus with him. Ken then mentioned that he’d said he’d take the boys to McDonalds if they won by 50 points but now was more concerned about his promise that if they won by 100, he’d pay (parents – if any of the boys told you they bought a McDonalds, they’re lying as Ken assured me he picked up the tab.....).

AW 0 Wolves 48

35 mins
Straight from the restart, a clean catch by Wolves released Connor C who ran from the half way line. If you've seen the movie Unstoppable, this was similar - there wasn't anyone going to stop the train that is Connor C at full speed, beating the last man with a side step (or did the savvy defender step the other way?) to touch down.

AW 0 Wolves 55

[size=large]HALF-TIME

Changes at the start of the second half: - Ross for Connor S, Faraz to No 8, Curtis to Wing, Harvey to Full Back, Daniel to Centre & Cormac to Stand Off

39 mins
Slower start at the beginning of the second half compared to the first but the next try was never going to be far away. Faraz broke in the AW 22 and the ball was taken into a ruck by Gregor. From 5 metres out, Sean collected the ball when it was recycled to run through to score untouched.

AW 0 Wolves 62

42 mins
Connor S on for Connor B, Connor S playing at Scrum Half with Ross moving to Wing

46 mins
According to the Chief Reporter, this was the try of the match. Following a ruck on the AW 10, the ball found its way along the backs to our newly installed winger Ross. Collecting the ball on the 22 he beat his opposite number then side-stepped the full-back to crash over. The leap by the Chief Reporter immediately after the try was of Daniel McMillan line out proportions, the joy soon tempered by the thought of the financial bounty which would be claimed by the try-scorer and the commitment made to double it if playing out of position at the time (Ross, that means £20 to you).

AW 0 Wolves 69

48 mins
Slight change in tactics by the Wolves as Daniel decided to test the AW full back under a high ball who hesitated as he was immediately put under pressure by Cormac. Cormac showed why he plays the game with an oval ball rather than a round one as he decides to try and dribble the ball from the 22 to the goal line, when the ball reached 5 metres from the line, he thought better of it and best pick it up, managing to gather just in time to enable him cross the line.

AW 0 Wolves 74

56 mins
As AW tried to play the ball along their backs within their own 22, a pass was dropped under pressure. Picked up by Adam C, he released Connor B to cross over for the 3rd time. It was noticed at this point that the AW water boy seemed quite proud of his battle scars, delivering the post-try refreshment (very busy man obviously) bare-chested showing off the stud marks and 3 inch gash recently inflicted. He continued to run around like this for the rest of the day.

AW 0 Wolves 81

58 mins
Another try straight from the restart. The kick was caught by Adam C who passed inside to Adam N who ran from half-way to pass to Faraz 10 out. With defence committed elsewhere, Faraz released Connor B to easily score. A 4th try for Connor.

AW 0 Wolves 88

60 mins
Most of the tries were real team efforts however there was fantastic individual skill also. From a scrum on half way, Daniel gathered the ball and took a great line and with the last man to beat on the 22, he breezed past him to cross the line.

AW 0 Wolves 95

63 mins
Drastic times called for drastic measures. After making a number of changes to no avail, the AW coach sent on his secret weapon in the form of Jack Russell – that should read “a” Jack Russell – who proceeded to run rings round the Wolves backs until finally grabbed by Cormac. With an obvious high-tackle he manhandled the wee lad (the dog, not Ross) off the pitch luckily escaping a yellow card for his transgression.

70 mins
Just as it was looking like the magical 100 would not be reached, Wolves scored with the last attack of the game. A great break within the AW 22 by Adam C, in support was Ewen who took the pass to crash over.

AW 0 Wolves 100

Full-time

To save you (especially you Ken) from counting, the final total was 16 tries (10 converted) and were scored by : - Connor B x4, Faraz x2, Cormac x2, Sean, Gregor, Adam N, Harvey, Connor C, Ross, Daniel & Ewen.

Credit to the AW coach at the end for saying he thought the game was played in good spirits and thanked the Wolves for making the effort and hoped that our boys had at least felt that they had been in a game. He continued to coach his team to the very end in what must have been trying circumstances.

So a big win for the Wolves, the biggest positive was allowing the coaches to see some boys playing out of their normal position.

Finally it was time to appreciate the only good thing to come out of Aberdeen....the road south, of course....

Man of the Match (nominated by the players) – Connor Bannister

Sunny – (Nominated by Adam Nicol) – Scott Buchan, head butted the ball from a kick off.